She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
