Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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