its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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