Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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