The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
