Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm like, not good at living.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
