Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
