you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
