U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Everclear isn't food dammit
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
