theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
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