you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
