it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
