when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
