you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
