I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
