he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
