hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
