dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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