I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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