I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
