This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
