So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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