i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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