plz talk dirty to me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
