I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
