it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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