maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
