I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
