The maid of honor just puked.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
