This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
