Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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