i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
