I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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