my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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