Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
