so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
