so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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