There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
