SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
