listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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