Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
