It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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