Ambien. No doubt about it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
