You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
