Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
