Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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