I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
