I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
