im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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