if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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